Maker/Mover

The Legend of Waterbear

STORY ART

〰️

STORY ART 〰️

THE LEGEND OF WATERBEAR

A tardigrade wearing a cowboy hat and guitar walking through fire

Well settle on down and listen to the tale of a critter that was rougher and tougher than nails.

He wasn’t too big (a millimeter-point-five)but his grit rivaled every damn creature alive.

Now he could walk through fire and snow and radiation,

so he took his old guitar from nation to nation.

Some called him moss piglet but he wasn’t too fond.

He was more like a grizzly swimmin’ in a pond-

He was a WATER BEAR.

(He was an Animolia Ecdysozoa Panarthropoda Tardigrada slow steppin’ steady trekkin’ death defyin’ awe inspirin’ water bear.)

Before each treacherous feat that he faced,

he got himself wasted on nuclear waste.

A tardigrade drinking toxic waste, eating a plate of food, and smoking a pack of cigarettes in 5 seconds

He ate like a pig and he smoked like a train

cause he couldn’t get sick and he didn’t feel pain.

He dove to the bottom of the Mariana Trench and

He dove to the bottom of the Mariana Trench and

the Catacombs of Paris just to brush up on his French

the Catacombs of Paris just to brush up on his French

and he rode Niagra Falls

and he rode Niagra Falls

and he flew

in a tornado

and he ate

a jalapeno

in an active

volcano.

He samba'd with a mamba

He samba'd with a mamba

Rumba'd with an anaconda

Rumba'd with an anaconda

BASE jumped

on a tiger

Freebased with a spider

Freebased with a spider

He ran with the bulls on LSD

He ran with the bulls on LSD

He had a three-way with syphilis and HIV

He had a three-way with syphilis and HIV

He knocked off Death and he rocked with the Devil…

… he took livin’ on the edge to a whole other level.